Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Losing my shit and finding it again

Miss Ball O'Sass
Competition can bring out the best or the worst in people. Needed a smack upside the head last week. Being a perfectionist is one of my weaknesses and also one of my strengths. I tend to get all caught up in the metrics of performance and the numbers, and lose sight of what is important – the “why are you doing this” part. At work, it usually keeps me from screwing up too much. But I get in my own way sometimes to the point of being really miserable across the board. I was disappointed in how I shot at Vegas, thinking I should have been much higher up and beating myself up for it. I’ve slouched back into some bad habits and they get worse under pressure. "Why is my elbow thinking we are back in compound division?!"  Have been fighting nerves for the past month and that’s not like me either.

I was completely miserable. The Ball O'Sass wazinthehouse. Nothing worked. Everything sucked.

It took my husband to point out the obvious, since I don't spend much time self-analyzing. Being a first-born sibling, I generally put waay too much pressure on myself to getting things perfect, even as a kid. Habits and hard wiring die hard. Usually a good run clears my head and things move on their merry way, but not last week. I'm also impatient as hell, which adds to the fun. Archery is a Love/Hate sport. You love it when things are going swimmingly, and want to throw your bow out the window when it's not.

Perfection is not a goal. Please go up to the board and write 100 times....

What IS important? The journey, the practice, shooting with the people that remind me WHY this is fun in the first place. And I am writing this to remind ME, not you, that this is important. If you need to be reminded, just let me know.

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